Stop being a boring asshole with DR. GEORG’S PREMIUM SOLUTION!
‘I was always content with what I had’ recounts Herbert M., 42, ‘I never listened to any new music
that wasn’t on the radio, never went to any performances, never read a book that Amazon didn’t
recommend to me and when I got home after a long day of accounting I was happy to see poorly
dubbed reality TV shows while the commercial breaks informed me about what was missing in my
life. The years went by and I didn’t even know what I was missing out on. In the end, even my mother
called me a pretentious boring mofo.’ he laughs. ‘but not anymore! Now I’ve discovered DR. GEORG’S
PREMIUM SOLUTION!’
Here’s how it works:
Usually humans are held back by their very DNA in their artistic expression and enjoyment. Being an
unusually scared, arrogant and dull species, humans throughout history have struggled to unleash
their true potential to create and receive. A troubadour in medieval times was usually stoned to
death (and sometimes raped subsequently) if he introduced a new note to the prevalent spectrum
that listeners were familiar with; the palette of a Renaissance painter was as limited by convention as
the vocabulary of a Victorian poet, and who could ever forget the carnage among artists of the 20th
century upon their collective going mad and doing unexpected shit? It almost appears as if every step
in the cultural evolution of our species was paid with blood (and sometimes other bodily fluids),
shame, dismay, and the weird hollow sound it makes when culture is slammed against an array of
boring pretentious pricks with their heads stuck up their arses.
Consider it. Maybe YOU are a boring, pretentious asshole too?
But fret no longer, for the cure to humanities cultural ailments has finally arrived: DR. GEORG’S
PREMIUM SOLUTION! Just one drop a day will quickly turn your DNA into a formidable paste that can
be shaped by art in any way imaginable!
Stop shutting down a track because you feel challenged by the emotion!
Stop walking out on plays because you can’t follow the plot right away!
Stop sitting at home watching rehashed bullshit while the artist next door performs in empty clubs!
Stop thinking The Last Jedi was a good movie!
Enlarge your world now and become a better, smarter, tougher and more handsome human being
with DR. GEORG’S PREMIUM SOLUTION! Let the patented Re-Shape™ technology re-arrange the very
molecules that compose you! Unleash your full potential and become a better you!
Start appreciating the millions of underground artists creating new shit you’ve never even heard of!
Start developing a taste of your own instead of merely recognizing someone else’s!
Start giving things that someone worked on for longer than you have ever maintained something in
your life a chance – it’s worth a try!
Start paying attention and even learn to differentiate between politics and art!
Start a new life today!
And stop being a boring pretentious asshole now – with DR. GEORG’S PATENTED PREMIUM
SOLUTION.
